Recently I've had to go through countless resumes and email applications for people interested in being on the upcoming film at my work. We have tons flooding in because we're essentially staffing an entire production right now. We're looking for a Production Designer, 1st AD, 2nd AD, Production Coordinator, Script Supervisor, Wardrobe, Hair, Make-Up... as I'm sure folks reading the Craigslist ad gathered, we are so totally and completely prepared for this movie to happen in four and a half weeks.
Never in a million years did I think, at least at this juncture in my life, that I would be reviewing resumes... I figured I'd be submitting them. For all I know that may soon be on the horizon. And sure, I know I'm not the hire-r, but I've been granted some insight on how application screeners do their thang.
Thus, for once-blog, I'm going to actually try and impart what I hope to be useful information about creating a resume that won't make people hate you. A lot of it feels obvious to me, but I've been annoyed by enough submissions to sense that these are #realworldproblems.
Since I am giving advice, I want to slide in the disclaimer that this is all based solely off my own experience, in what may very well be an unconventional job setting, and may or may not apply only to film/tv. Maybe beekeepers read resumes differently, I wouldn't know.
Here goes.
1. Make it easy. All the other tips pretty much roost beneath this one. Because if somebody has to read forty resumes, why would they feel compelled to take any extra steps towards reading yours? If it's too much work, they've got 39 other resumes to scope out for that one position you're all applying for. So make it easy.
How does one do that, you ask...?
2. Use less words. Your resume should look like a kindergarten handout. Your reviewer wants to know exactly what your experiences are within three seconds of looking at your resume. It makes them feel smart. Don't do what I did, which is bog down every "description of duties" with a buncha wordy jargon my schools' career center told me to include. Just be straightforward. You didn't "execute the proper sanitary maintenance of business utilities," brah; you washed dishes. Ain't nobody got time to figure out what work task you're trying to glorify.
3. Don't hide the stuff that they use to contact you. I seriously have to scroll to page xxvii of the addendum to your "Special Skills" section only to find out you just gave me your website and the city you live in? You ass! You royal, royal ass! I was GONNA call you, but now I'm not, because I have no easy way to do that and even if your resume looked good, chances are it wasn't so mind-blowingly special that I or anyone else would make the extra effort.
On that note--
4. Stop after 2 pages. 1 page is perfect. It's easy to hold and look at and digest, and I don't have to staple anything. 2 pages is okay, but anything beyond that is just you wasting paper and pixels. Employers only need to get an idea of what you've done, not follow the exciting chronicles of the six different houses you plant-sat for in high school. Just show the range of what you can do.
That's not to say you shouldn't hype up what you're good at if you have a crap ton of experience. I'm more likely to pay attention to the 1st AD who has 1st ADd on eight different films versus the 1st AD who has three 1st AD credits listed but has also gaffed, composed scores, and directed. Don't do what I did and buy into the career center mind-garbage of "show them the versatility of your skills." Sure, why not show you can do other stuff, but don't let it replace the relevant experience... or stretch your resume out to 4 pages.
5. Submit a flipping resume. Apparently it isn't common knowledge that you're supposed to do this when applying to a job. So many people have just sent links to their personal websites an IMDBs. These are helpful, but as supplements, not the whole enchilada.
6. Don't try to impress anyone with your "fun" website interface. So many people recently- especially these goddamn artsy fartsies- get frilly "attention-grabber" websites that are like Prezis. There's catwalk background music, an opening animation of a dancing camera, and everything your mouse hovers over ripples like a pond. These efforts are SO pointless, apart from just being obnoxious. My computer freezes when I open some of these websites! And it's the world's most exasperating waste of time if every button I click on hops three times and morphs into a flower before I get to the next page. These allegedly innovative pages may look super-trippy-cool when you're showing all your friends the free website you made, but it comes off as dumb.
7. Make yourself printable. For resumes submitted online, and photographers/art people especially. If someone wants to print out your picture portfolio to look through, that's awfully hard to do when your pictures are in some fancy Wix photo slideshow that only shows them one at a time. Just have a page where they're all lain out. Stop me from destroying the planet by printing 50 weird-ass screenshots of your website instead of 3 clean grids of photos. Es logico, no?
So there you have it. I guess.
I think I just bored myself to death, but hopefully one or two of you out there benefited from this is some way. As for the rest of you, I gave you a picture of an enchilada, I really don't know what else you want from me.
Never in a million years did I think, at least at this juncture in my life, that I would be reviewing resumes... I figured I'd be submitting them. For all I know that may soon be on the horizon. And sure, I know I'm not the hire-r, but I've been granted some insight on how application screeners do their thang.
Thus, for once-blog, I'm going to actually try and impart what I hope to be useful information about creating a resume that won't make people hate you. A lot of it feels obvious to me, but I've been annoyed by enough submissions to sense that these are #realworldproblems.
Since I am giving advice, I want to slide in the disclaimer that this is all based solely off my own experience, in what may very well be an unconventional job setting, and may or may not apply only to film/tv. Maybe beekeepers read resumes differently, I wouldn't know.
 |
| I like my resumes like I like my women. |
1. Make it easy. All the other tips pretty much roost beneath this one. Because if somebody has to read forty resumes, why would they feel compelled to take any extra steps towards reading yours? If it's too much work, they've got 39 other resumes to scope out for that one position you're all applying for. So make it easy.
How does one do that, you ask...?
2. Use less words. Your resume should look like a kindergarten handout. Your reviewer wants to know exactly what your experiences are within three seconds of looking at your resume. It makes them feel smart. Don't do what I did, which is bog down every "description of duties" with a buncha wordy jargon my schools' career center told me to include. Just be straightforward. You didn't "execute the proper sanitary maintenance of business utilities," brah; you washed dishes. Ain't nobody got time to figure out what work task you're trying to glorify.
 |
| Senior Mopper of Khol's Lavatorial Facilities |
On that note--
4. Stop after 2 pages. 1 page is perfect. It's easy to hold and look at and digest, and I don't have to staple anything. 2 pages is okay, but anything beyond that is just you wasting paper and pixels. Employers only need to get an idea of what you've done, not follow the exciting chronicles of the six different houses you plant-sat for in high school. Just show the range of what you can do.
 |
| Make your resume a flight of your skills. |
5. Submit a flipping resume. Apparently it isn't common knowledge that you're supposed to do this when applying to a job. So many people have just sent links to their personal websites an IMDBs. These are helpful, but as supplements, not the whole enchilada.
 |
| SEND ENCHILADAS |
7. Make yourself printable. For resumes submitted online, and photographers/art people especially. If someone wants to print out your picture portfolio to look through, that's awfully hard to do when your pictures are in some fancy Wix photo slideshow that only shows them one at a time. Just have a page where they're all lain out. Stop me from destroying the planet by printing 50 weird-ass screenshots of your website instead of 3 clean grids of photos. Es logico, no?
So there you have it. I guess.
I think I just bored myself to death, but hopefully one or two of you out there benefited from this is some way. As for the rest of you, I gave you a picture of an enchilada, I really don't know what else you want from me.
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