Tuesday, October 7, 2014

A Cat-roversial Matter, or: We Want Our Rights Meow

IT'S OCTOBER BITCHE$$$$$ AKA THE MAGICAL TIME OF YEAR WHEN it doesn't make a god damn difference because it's still 90 degrees out.

's too damn hot.
No but really, October is probably the best month in all of month-dom and I am so excited that everything is brown and orange and red and covered in a gross excess of fake cobwebs. I'm sure I'm not alone in this. October also seems to be the month where people wake up from the boredom of summer and remember that there are things to go out and celebrate-- traditions to uphold, baked goods to pay homage to.

Also there are spiders. Lots and lots of spiders.

I'm writing little "la-tee-ta"s about the wonder of Autumn because the other thing that I want to talk about is not ready for public consumption yet. Yesirreespongebob I am gearing up for an unveiling of sorts, and believe me, I'm dying to share it with the world. It's very exciting.

Almost as exciting as a freshly-carved chair.
In the meantime, I guess I'll tell you a little bit about this cat I met. He was a nice cat. We met at a cafe. Oh I'm sorry. We didn't meet at a cafe. That's absurd. We met at a

 Now I know what you're thinking.

"What's that, some kinda cafe with cats running around inside of it?"

Psh. SON that's exactly what it is.

This is serious. Do you guys have any idea what this means? It means that it is literally possible to have a recurring dream so many times that it physically manifests itself in the real world. A cafe where god's little sassy thank you cards roam about doing what they do better than any other creature on this planet: be adorable and ignore you.

The concept of pet cafes is apparently an international phenomenon that is attempting to make its way over to the US. I'm not an expert, I just watched the Kickstarter video. What I went to this past week was a temporary pop-up installation where the folks behind Catfe rented out a small space in Chinatown and did a "sample" Catfe. This was basically to promote the project and give the public a nibble of what a Catfe really is. It's painfully straightforward. You go to the cafe, order food, and there are cats around. I think you pay a fee to go inside, but, y'know, cats. For all your logistical questions they're already loaded with answers, but I don't want to talk about health codes. I only want to talk about cats. Forever.

Yeah, I'm one of those people who loves cats. We know this. We've established this. Deal with it.

The way this cat does.
To be honest, the concept of pet cafes is actually kind of a conflicting cat-flicting one for me. RE: health codes, I don't give a flying cat. A cat can sit by me while I eat anytime. In fact, I pre-fur it. I also don't doubt that the cats are very well taken care of... a business like this sits on a landmine of potential cat-lash from animal rights activists and I'm sure (/I hope) they are being overly-caring to debunk any possible animal cruelty claims. Perhaps it's petty of me, but I'm more concerned with the obcatjectification implied by a Catfe. Or any pet cafe, for that matter. Truly, the cats are there as an accessory, serving no function in the estabbylishment beyond aesthetic. I'm sure not many people are concerned about this, but it does actually bother me. It's essentially Hooters with cats instead of large-breasted women; the main difference being that a cat's self-esteem is unfaltering.

Now this exists on the internet. You're welcome.
In all partial seriousness, I do feel this is something to be wary of. Strewing cats around a room like furry vases brings us closer to the idea that cats are fun little pillows we get to smoosh our faces into whenever we feel like and further from the idea that they are living things that, like humans, live moment to moment in a continuous flux of wants and needs. Do the cats want to be around people all day? If they don't, and they have no escape, then that bothers me. If they're okay with it, then I guess I'm okay with it. And if they don't care, well, that wouldn't be entirely out of character, would it?


Final conclusion: none. Just hoping people will think about it and come up with the moral verdict I have failed to produce.