Wednesday, March 26, 2014

FOUND: A Lazy Writer Who Writes About Writing

So I didn't post yesterday because I had a shitty work day and decided I'd rather up my endorphin count by hanging out with Casey after I got off. We ate raw vegan food and watched One Flew Over the Cuckoos Nest. When these two things make you happier than when you were at work, you know it was a rough day.

I was trying to of what to write about tonight... I kind of bounce among my safe little pool of topics:

- Being a young adult
- Living in LA
- Being a young adult in LA
- Having a job
- Having a job in entertainment
- Being a writer
- Being a writer in LA
- The Free Masons

So tonight let's talk a bit about being a writer in LA.

Any other post about this topic will probably be a gratuitous heap of depression and negativity, but I'm keeping it light tonight. Party because I don't feel like pretending to be depressed, and partly because I want to make sure I have enough time to watch an episode of "House of Cards" before bed tonight. Seriously, I just started watching... Kevin Spacey is and always will be the world's hottest guy-who's-more-than-fifteen-years-older-than-you.

Spacin' out

Tonight I'm going to kill two birds with one stone on this blog. See, as a "writer in LA" it's my job to go out and send my spec script to the batch of tv writing fellowship programs that open for submission around the spring. I've already submitted to the Nickelodeon TV Writing program, but I've been severely putting off looking up the deadlines of the others for no particular reason. Which I believe is the textbook definition of laziness.

I'll post the programs here so that you know what I'm looking to do, and I'll know what I should be doing. This is mutually beneficial for anyone else out there who is as remotely wrapped up in my life as I am. Although it is also beneficial to other writers I'm competing against... ho hum.

Here they be:

1. Nickelodeon Television Writing Program - Already submitted to. You basically get to play writer for a year at Nick Studios. They pay you to shadow your idols. I'll take that to go, garcon.

2. Disney ABC Writing Program - Submission period unknown. The submission period has never once been posted online in the 237 times I've checked over the last 9 months. I guess if they're offering to help me network with successful writers/producers, let me write on a show for a year, and pay me nearly double what I currently make, they can post the submission period whenever the hell they want. I'll be standing by creepily waiting to hand them a manila envelope containing a script and about 10 ounces of glitter.

Assuming that's the proper unit of measurement for glitter.

3. Writers on the Verge - Submission period May 1-May 30. A chance for me to compete with much more experienced/successful writers for the privilege of being able to say that you write for a living.

4. WB Writers' Workshop - Submission period May-May 31. A once-a-week writing workshop with Warner Bros. So I can still do other things technically... it's always been my dream to be a couch salesman by day and TV writer by night.

5. CBS' Writer Mentoring Program - Submission period March 1-May 31. Wait... I need a pilot episode already?!

6. Late Night Writers' Workshop - Jan 10-24, 2014. Missed it 'cause I'm a moron and didn't know it existed until doing a little research just a minute ago. I now have a full year to think about my choices.

That's it.

This post took about as long to write as a usual post... and about 1/100th as entertaining. Now THAT's conservation of energy.

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