On the Subject of Almost Getting a Job

Last we met I had dropped the probably unsurprising news that I was no longer working my EA job. As soon as I was unemployed I did what any sane person would do.

I went to a beauty salon.

AND THEN I kicked it into high gear looking for work. I could only think of my depressing post-grad struggles of applying to a million and one jobs that I was not qualified for, dedicating 10 minutes at a time to filling in a single obnoxious online application for NBC and Disney, blissfully naiive as to how much of my time I was actually wasting. I could probably have campaign funded, shot, and distributed a movie in all those little 10-minute increments combined.

But lo and behold, when I began applying to industry jobs this time around I had a startling realization: I have been alive for a year! And in that year I actually made some strides in developing my career. I got my foot in the door the way most everyone I've talked to does it, and that is: somehow.

This is also how I get into house parties.

Somehow: I got valuable experience on both the production and administrative side of film. I learned that I have a passion for production design and got experience doing that, too (hat tip to male-friend-Casey for giving me the opportunity to make that discovery). I learned what stuff like "call-rolling" and "asking for avails" is. I networked, whatever the hell that means. I learned how to ask for things. I learned how to act like a genuine industry-style liar.

And ALL of these things combined have made me a more appetizing candidate for industry jobs

The job application process has been a funny one. As I mentioned, I have been doing exactly what I did when I first graduated, which is sit glued to a computer to the point of wanting to vomit every time my fingers touch the keys, and just apply to everything I could remotely make a case for.

However, some key differences:

1. A year ago, I applied to anything-anything... swim instructor jobs, tutoring gigs, canvassing, technical writing, egg donations: just a jumbalaya of miscellaneous hats that might fit on my head. This go, I have only been applying to industry jobs, and the occasional writing gig I don't have enough resume experience to get. Which I'm kind of okay with, because blogging about health and fitness sounds so depressingly boring I would probably just eat all the time and get fat.

   

   Worst fitness blog ever.

2.  I am reaching an impasse I never thought I'd reach because I didn't know such an impasse existed: corporate/administrative versus production. These are two very, very different aspects of the film and entertainment world. At some point you sort of have to go with one or the other; they are very different skill sets and your potential employer will wonder where your true allegiance lies (how do I know? It fucking happened to me). I began in production, which is the physical making-of the movie. But with the EA job I dove head-first into the administrative world of what are called "desk jobs" (I know, super random name, right?). I've reached a point of contention because I enjoy production work more, but I enjoy the security of a desk job more. I could honestly swing either way-- like your mom-- if I knew which avenue was a faster track to that numero uno goal of writing for TV. My brain tells me it's the corporate side, but my scrappy vindictive production side is crossing her arms and huffing, "Well you don't KNOW that." 

If there has ever been fodder for a debate about the best point of entry for "breaking in," this is that fodder. I invite one and all to write their opinions and experiences on this in the comments section.

I am your fodder.

I had a surprising number of bites in the first few days I applied to things, booking 3 interviews in the span of a week. The first one was an absolute trip because it was for an EA gig at... bum ba da dum... dum da da dee dum... ya ta ta ta... Paramount Studios.

Needless to say, I rolled up to the lot feelin' like a straight up G.

And, dear friends, for that one brief moment in time, I truly was.

...'Cause I was OFFERED the job!

 Champagne on me, right?

Well...

Not exactly. From the second I began that interview I knew I had stepped into something intense. You know your work environment might not be so great if your interviewer makes a point of telling you at at least six individual moments, "If you are not aware of every single thing that is going on, you will get run over." You could almost see the blood flying from his mouth. So I spent a few days entrenched in the "let me think about it" process that went something like this:

"It's a job at Paramount."

"But that dude seems a little intense. Or like, a lotta intense."

"Yeah, but, it's a job at Paramount."

"And you'll be expected to know how to do copious numbers of things you've never done before and master them within an impossibly small timeframe."

"I'll take that chance, it's a job at Paramount."

"You'll also be basically on-call and live in constant terror of being hit up by your boss at bizarre hours of the night."

"I could maybe do that for a job at Paramount."

"I mean, what do we even know about this guy? His name hardly comes up on Google searches."

"But on my resume I can say I worked at Paramount."

"You'll also be horribly miserable and stressed out and overworked moreso than at your other job."

"It doesn't matter, I'll network with other people while I'm eating lunch. At Paramount."

"Who knows how long you'll even be there? The last dude was fired."

"I don't care, 'cause it's Paramount."

"Jessica, you have presented both sides of this case to multiple people and everyone has told you it's not worth it to work in an environment that antagonistic. Don't do it."

So I told the man I'd think about it some more. This was, however, apparently a tip-off to him that I was not ready to handle the rigor of this job. And you know what, homie was probably right. As fricking cool as it would have been to work on the Paramount lot, I very likely would have, as the oracle foretold, been "run over." Long story short, I didn't end up landing the job and my relief is hardly a secret. In my book of memoirs this chapter will be titled, "The Time I Got (and Lost!) a Job at Paramount."

Now that I've had my little backdoor bragging moment... other pokes in the fires, you ask?

Well, earlier this week I had an interview for a mind-numbing receptionist job at a talent agency, which is actually a thing people do to break into the industry. But I didn't tell enough beige lies so I didn't get that one. Tomorrow I have an interview for a personal assistant gig to a TV director, which would be an absolute dream come true if he didn't live 30 some-odd miles and 60 some-odd minutes from my home. I also spoke to an actress who runs an acting school and is looking for an assistant, so that could potentially be a thing (...deja vu?). At some point I was told about a job as a nanny ("Personal Assistant" the resume will say) for an adolescent actress who travels internationally on a regular basis. That would be fun, since I actually jive with kids pretty well, and I'll deal with Varuka Sault if it means I get an all-expenses-paid trip to the Bahamas. But it ultimately boils down to what's the best career move.

Do I know?
Does anyone know?
No.
So.

I'm still jobless. But having a great time. Everyone should quit their jobs during the summer. The end.